Exploring The Teen — Voyage
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” These lines are so relatable, don’t you think?
I myself rescued so much about Adolescent. They are nothing but “Totally Exhausted Eccentric Needy Self” — what we call Teens.
I’m going to end my teens in a month or so, that’s why I can relate and connect more closely to these Young Adults. Being a teenager is a strange yet exciting part of life. Adolescence can be a huge party and it can be hell at the same time. There can be times when they act, as sweet as honey and sometimes as bitter as truth. Sometimes they will adore you with the purest love and feelings and there may be times when you will end up with door slamming fights.
If we knock on the door of science, we find that according to the research, the period between 13–19 is a phase where your child will go through a lot of anxiety, depression, agitation, and many more whose frequency is more as compared to Adulthood. The survey says that mood swings tend to occur the most in this time period and the behavior of hyper rationality is common in them.
The brain continues to change throughout life, but there are huge leaps in development during Adolescent. It is a time of significant growth and development inside the teenage brain. We’ll discuss more facts regarding teen brains a little later.
The Journey to — Teenage
I was a little kiddo, learning rhymes and alphabets, distinguishing the different colors of fruits to differentiating between changing colors of people I stepped into teenage without any warning and preparation. I was just a small creature in this massive world, going to explore the unexplored every coming day.
Suddenly it feels like some tornado moving inside me, I used to chop and change every single decision, It felt like I am in a racing car who has to win every match, loving the speed but scared with the results, I grew up.
Mental traumas, Physical changes result in losing confidence. I felt like drowning in the ocean of guilt, as I am of no use, can’t get good grades, couldn’t look good, have no unique skill, made me feel like my existence is not worthy. I myself pigeon-holed as futile.
The body is trolling YOU
The worst part about Adolescents is the noticeable changes taking place. Fluctuations in hormones like estrogen and progesterone, formation of brain-circuitry results in mood swings. Dopamine level is on peek during teenage results in impulsive desires and quick reactions.
Both boys and girls feel these imbalances.
⦁ Acne and pimples
⦁ Irritating odor
⦁ Pubic hairs
And many more which make them feel out of sorts.
Discovering | Experiencing | Acting
And then I discovered that I had been told to act mature but then too sometimes they treat me like a kid. Already I have so many confusions as, why you elders are creating more.
I experienced a gap between me and my parents, those who used to laugh at my mischief, now no more laugh on that. They shout at me like I do not belong to them anymore. Our thoughts are only mismatched now like they don’t agree with me.
Subsequently, I started opposing them, I acted manner less, lost my patience, and never bust a gut to understand them.
Teen Brain Under Construction
According to the research, there are different stages of brain development, but the most important stage is this teenage because due to false deeds there is more probability of bad impacts on the brain. The neural connection and the wiring in the brain take place in this phase which results in irritable behavior.
Once I was told that everyone has the same brain, at that time I used to think, then why does someone score good and someone poor, there should be the same grades then. But nobody told me about neurons, impulsivity, and electric signals inside the brain.
Some questions are still unanswerable, “who is wiser Brain or Heart”, “who says right, who thinks and who listens”. Such curious behavior is often noticed during the construction of the brain.
Between the Sorrows and Pain
Tiny droplets looking like pearls fell through the cheeks during anger, I really don’t want to cry but still, I cry, sometimes I ask myself, why this happens every time. When I don’t find my favorite meal I cry, when there is a fight between me and my mom I cry, due to fear I cry, due to agitation I cry.
Becoming emotional and sensitive is normal during this age. We are in a hurry of experiencing every feeling, we want freedom, privacy, want to become independent at this small age.
Their actions and reactions are sometimes not according to their age, they are just up in the air, unknown of the drawbacks of their actions.
And when the things don’t go straight, their heart pleads, their jibber-jabber suddenly changes into a strange silence, they look for support but due to fear of getting scolded they remain quiet. Those beautiful eyes search for a shelter to hide their tears but unfortunately, they end up losing their jolly childhood to a deafening silence.
Tower of Strength — Parents
“Child will always need a parent, as a flower need the Sun.”
The most important role in their life during this stage is of you, yes you only. They are the little flowers who need your support, who will grow under your shelter and shine. You too had gone through this stage, but as people get older, they seem to lose touch with their teenage experiences. That’s why you face some difficulty in understanding them and because of that, they feel comfortable sharing everything with their friends and not with you. Don’t feel insecure, your child is still yours, but just take a step forward and try to understand them.
These flying birds need an endless sky to fly, you can’t put limits but you can warn them. Teenagers need “helpful attention” rather than “protective attention”. Guide them, assist them, and the most important motivate them, your child needs that he/she should be praised. Give them a round of applause for their achievements, and instead of shouting at them or judging them on their mistakes just build the trust that you are there for them no matter what. They are the lost souls who are in search of a destination, show them the right path, treat them as your friend, try to talk as much as you can.
When they talk, listen to them carefully, don’t ignore them, please! A strong bond between you and your child is only when you will listen to them carefully. And yes yelling is as bad as hitting. At this stage they become egoistic and self-centered, they hate being insulted, try to avoid that as much as possible.
Attunement is characterized by correspondences in biological, affective, cognitive, and behavioral domains. As Dr. Bornstein notes, “when interactions with caregivers fall out of attunement by becoming mistimed or mismatched, children and parents both experience distress.”
Here are Whitney Houston’s five tips for parenting, which is “The Greatest Love of All.”
1) I believe the children are our future.
2) Teach them well and let them lead the way.
3) Show them all the beauty they possess inside.
4) Give them a sense of pride to make it easier.
5) Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.
Raising a teenager is hard, but I believe you, you will get succeed and prepare your child to outshine and touch the great heights in his life.
Call of Action — Dear Birds!
Dear birds, I understand you want to fly, you are having big dreams in your little eyes, I can better understand you. You are having so many problems, and the solution to these obstacles is you, yes you! Nobody can comprehend us as much as we can.
Beloved teens, clap your eyes on what’s important, take a look at your folks, they are there for you. Don’t consider them as your resistance, they are your well-wishers.
I admit you are going through a hell lot, but just try to relax, keep calm, discuss with your parents, with your teachers whatsoever is going inside your mind. Meditate, exercise, do yoga, it will help you.
These changes are common during this age, you, your friends, your siblings are going with the same.
Peer pressure, tensions and insecurities regarding exams, hopes and expectations, comparison with someone else, I know these things hurt somewhere. But keep in mind, everything will be fine soon, you have to cross the hurdles to reach your destination.
I myself had gone through much, you know what, the crux of the matter is sometimes us, we ourselves invite difficulties for us only. Don’t panic, just figure it out, share, talk, express your feelings, desires, and problems to the one who understands you, who won’t judge you, who really cares for you, and doesn’t escape just rescue.
I know our generation is lacking patience, so I’m not taking much time, just try to focus on the mandatory, and discuss as much as you can. Everything is quite normal, just change your perspective a bit. And remember these changes are temporary, your mood is temporary, many will come, many will go, but your parents are the only rock which will support you, mistakes will be done, you too will fall, but you have to try, stand and fight for what’s right.
Facing troubles, having issues, and confusion regarding anything, you can contact me through commenting below, anytime. You are the future, you are the most intelligent and hardworking seed, you will be known by your deeds. We young mouths under the guidance of elders can make it impossible to possible.
Have a great day! Will soon come up with a new blog.
Until then, Stay safe, Stay happy:)